canny's journey

新的一年,新的希望

2011-01-01T08:43:00.000-08:00

在新加坡的日子,过得比在怡保的不一样,学着管理自己的金钱,晚上很多时想到钱就辗转难眠.是时候成长了.
2011年,正式的对自己说,自己逐渐地稳定自己的生活.接着期待着与自己的爱人步入幸福的教堂.但我知道这天的来临之前我们要更加的努力去建立这个家.我们的事业是唯一给我们金钱的来源,家人是我们的最佳支持者.你我的关爱与包容使我们走的更远,生活过得更有意义.
谢谢宝贝伟维的爱护,一起住的日子才看见原来的大家,会学着去让大家的生活和谐,融洽.觉得恩惠的事,爸妈都接纳你了.我的最爱.

Coming future....

2010-05-30T00:45:00.000-07:00

Finally i have step out to tell mum that my decision after training. I wish that dad and mum could let me move toward to the life tht i wonder. Ya, the life being together with my dear Waikey. Recently i have think too much about me n u dear, think about, do i trouble for u?(when we stay together) i mean in financial context. Anywhere i will told myself i wont do anything that mistake as what my parents think of. In opposite way, i will proved to them, my dear worth me to do anythg for him. God, pls arrange the way for us that we need to pass by, in order to make our spirit in this relationship become stronger and stronger.

Be with m, please..

2010-04-11T05:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Babe, today went out wif parents again. i knw i have made them feel very angry. i also knew that this the chance to let them release what ever bad feeling in their heart. let them mumble i thk everythg will be better than avoid them. Baby, i told myself, i trust u n belif u.. I keep on remind myself that, im no longer the little girl at home. i wanna show my mum that she with dad no need worry for me.

12.12pm-20/3/10

2010-03-19T08:50:00.000-07:00

实习的6个月不知不觉过了4个月啦,接下来是时候做决定,勇敢的对爸妈说将来了.
宝贝伟维,看回以前自己写过的blog,总觉得现在的大家比起初初好很多.是你我的生活里充满了大家吧.
希望一年后的今天,你我感情更加稳定.
当选择和你在一起时,我相信你是拿能带给我许多的男人.
加油吧,希望在你身边,晓蕙不是你哪拌脚石.
好久没在新加坡和你一起生活,不了解你当下的心情,没工作的日子很难熬吧.
对不起,我并不了解,也对你的心情变化来得不敏感.
晓蕙这女生很难搞吧? 她所做的每一个决定都会牵泄到很多人.
爸妈的责怪所造成的无形压力都把你给弄苦了吗?
祈望宝贝,晓蕙哪难熬的日子加快过去...

给宝贝的信

2009-10-26T02:52:00.000-07:00

宝贝，你我之间存在的距离不多不少是因我而起，对不起，给你苦多过开心。好想现在已经不用再背着那学生的身份，爸妈对我的期望很高，他们不想我以后熬苦，但是他们不知道我现在很不开心。你是个勇敢的男生，一直都是，答应我以后也一样好吗？我不会离开你直到你放下我。

Selfish

2009-08-05T22:45:00.000-07:00

I’m really lost now. In past, I’m a gal who lack of confident, do not concerns to the things happened around me, I don’t know how to care other person, including family and friends. I used to be a selfish gal, most of the time, I seldom sharing with other, fail to mix with friends, what inside my brain maybe is just my own interest.
Recently, I do feel that I’m alone always. Keep on doesn’t satisfy with what I own, I wish to have more close friends, anywhere, that’s only a wish. Ya, that’s might be my personality have problems thus lead to this consequence. Due with this kind of situations, I have the strong feelings to hide myself, that’s what I always do- avoid what I don’t wish to face with.
For m brother, I always feel that since me myself too fail to discipline myself, how do I have the ability to teach him to become good? It’s really a funny joke. I’m really a failure.

前世与今生的情人～

2009-06-19T06:19:00.000-07:00

父亲节快乐～
说到啊爸,我蛮像他的，话不多，对朋友蛮客气的，少知心朋友，他呢还为我们这家付出蛮多。
跟妈妈比起，他的生活圈子走不了店铺来往的顾客，生意伙伴。曾经在我小时，有人在我面前问“uncle，你的职业是什么？”啊爸给的答案连听者也觉得吃惊，爸带笑的回答那人“我这行啊～一天工作15钟头啦”，爸的笑话对我来说蛮珍贵的，就如一些人说平时正经的人说起笑话来还真的蛮劲爆的～哈
虽然平时跟爸的话题不多，他习惯依赖妈妈，透过她知道我多点，像会提醒妈妈我这在宿舍的女儿好久没打电话回家了，当妈跟我聊时他就在身边听，如妈妈就是他的翻译人那样，这一切我都收到。
从爸妈哪里我懂的一对夫妻是互补对方的不足的，一柔一刚。有人说，“女儿是爸爸前世的情人，儿子是妈妈前世的情人”，因此父亲大多都疼爱女儿，这我哥一直都觉得 =）
这假期第一次工作，爸妈比任何人都还紧张，每早上他们都给我morning call，怕我这懒惰女儿睡过头了，迟到上班，工作第30天了，这仿佛成了他们的习惯～（其实这也显得他们潜意识里并不放心我这女儿，对我自己照顾自己还放不了心）谢谢，dear,mum n dad..你们都是我生活里跑不掉的人=）虽然有时爸对我冷漠，临出门我都会跟他说声，也让这成为我的习惯吧=）感谢你们俩让我一直想做的做到了，这假期真的比之前没那么颓废，过得比较充实，这工作机会是我想得到很久了～

渐渐的～

2009-06-13T06:03:00.000-07:00

经理说的对，五个星期说短不短，说长不长～
之前抱着那希望在这间公司工作，相信一天会比一天更加适应那里，一切都慢慢改变啦，跟同事慢慢的多话题，
虽然我是那笨笨的，连在办公室里同事们火药味上身，自己竟然还不知情的在埋头自己的工作，仿佛与世隔绝，哈～～我的学姐都服了我咯。。
在一个陌生的环境，自己往往是那个少话的女生，不主动的找人谈话，是自己太保护自己吧。无可否认，这是我与生俱来的性格，有机会能成好友知己的，我相信，时间是以个很好的见证~

成长之声～

2009-05-26T05:28:00.000-07:00

有好多的不懂，有好多的事物，人物都没见识过，接触过，百感交集...有懊恼的，也有新奇的，有无奈的--
平时在同学朋友面前总是嘻嘻哈哈，春风满面的～对于那些close的朋友，大家都觉得我交际手腕有一手，朋友很多，这就是他们眼中的我～
很多东西都只有自己最清晰，家里最小的女儿，从小到大万千宠爱，只有自己的声音大声，响亮过家人，我要的总是能得到的，妈说不行自己总是要，因为她时常说我做的决定不对，以后慢慢长大了，总是往往第一个反应就是做她所不赞成的～好叛逆咯～
现在终于有机会出来做工了，真的后悔怎么不早些出来，怎么不早些出来当傻瓜，至少早几年出去见识，现在也多多少少变聪明点啦。现在的自己比起同期的朋友们，可慢的很咯，还要时间慢慢的耘粮，在形成我在这社会里的角色～我知道我是能胜任的，也能找到那生存方式的～也无可否认，这方式比起我学院里的生涯可相差的多～

安全感

2009-05-22T10:31:00.000-07:00

以前的自己在跟男生进入一段感情时，自以为聪明的自己总会保护着自己，别让自己陷的太深，就算是付出也不至于表露在实际的行动上，就如为了某某会作出什么生活的改变，因为我深信没有谁为谁而活，没有说什么失去了谁不能活下去。要是这样的话，那当将来那天事情真的发生的话，一切不就太恐怖了吗？就因如此我对自己说不能笨到被一个人牵着自己走，每个人都有独立自主的权力～这潜意识显出我是个害怕太依赖另一半而导致无法至拔的情景发生在自己身上。
现在的自己终于醒悟了，原来当你真的喜欢那人，自己是很乐意，同时也会想自己能为他做什么事让他开心。与其说这付出是愚笨，倒不如说这些傻事做的越多也象征着他对自己有多重要。以前的自己遇到那些某某时，并没带着那份信任，很难让别人进入自己的世界，很多对方的想法，感觉，自己都听在耳朵里，就只有对方分享他得事，而自己的就留给自己，长时间之后，自己会觉得他对自己的了解并不深而感情变得淡了。
现在的情人让我学会如何付出，如何把大家的距离慢慢的拉近。也许这些付出的举动并不是愚笨，而是给自己一个很实际的证明大家是在用心的爱护彼此吧。唯有这样才能让自己更实在的感受到这人是我要找的，就是他，能让我一靠的那个～

温室里的变化～

2009-05-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

好长的一段日子没写部落格了，生活并不是很忙碌，只因没那什么心情写。最近值得开心的事，二哥变了，他的改变是让爸妈开心的，还记得那天爸妈探望过他后，回到家时迫不及待的跟家里上上下下的人报告这喜讯～好久没跟他聊了～有空真的要写封信给他，好奇怪的晓蕙，很多时候一些言语用写的方式反而会比较大胆的，听人家说，中国人就是如此的含蓄，透过嘴巴来表达爱时，是比较害羞的～
可以这样说吧，自我们家的第一个宝贝出生后，二哥的离开也算是第二次家人们的举动，一一的改变了～
终于自己能在家人面前勇敢的说出自己的想法与感受，妈妈变得比以前有耐心的听诉，大哥对二哥的慰问，爸爸回想以前对二哥说过的伤人的话而感到抱歉，很感恩这一切的改变发生在我的家人身上～
Dear～谢谢你一直的陪伴，我和你的感情也渐渐成长。二哥的改变是上天的恩典，希望你我的感情在将来的那天被大家接受，不再让你受委屈了。今天在工作时，在想着自己什么时候才有那机会和你享有那该有的自由呢？能自由的做你我想做的事，而不再偷偷摸摸了？这是我亏欠你的..谢谢你因为你能体谅我家人的想法与感受，dear,相信我好吗？我知道爸妈的想法，对我的期望，就让他们慢慢的接受他们的女儿一天接一天渐渐的长大，让这时间让他们对我变得更有信心，好吗？与其现在让他们知道后，只会觉得我任性，倒不如以后让他们不再担忧我时才说。时间真是一个好好的见证～

Dear mum n bro..

2009-03-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

dear bro,long time dint see u even talk to you, wish tat u be strong over there,i will pray to u here everyday. If got chance to talk with u,i wish to tell u tat mum missing u much, something is happy to share is, u are the hope for her, im feel happy when i hear tis come out from her mouth,she has change his mind! Is a new life for our family, change to become more happiness. I knew tat day is not far from us.

dear..i wish to let u knw

2009-03-13T05:23:00.000-07:00

"if 1day, u really find 1 tat better tat me tat u feel,dun worry abt me....watever how i will still love u....watever u do any to me,u leave me,i'll keep stay here to wait u..."

dear, this is nt i wish to hear. which gal would like to hear tht her lover call her to choose the other guy? Parents opinion just wish tht our life can be better, i do wish tht the future u are the one who go along with me no matter anythings happen.. strive hard to get new better life ok? i knw both of us strong enuf to overcome tht. let other knw tht both of us being together is a happy thg..

累了…

2009-02-28T20:43:00.000-08:00

its cloudy day here today,my mood also become blue,too. Feel tired not only physically but also mentally, stress of work?thinking too much,i admit im tis kind of person. Im sorry for those fren tat affected by my emotional thinking,just give me sometimes to make adjustment n recover soon. I wil learn to be keep silent rather than express all unkind feelings to u all.

眼泪干了，勇敢去了

2008-12-31T05:52:00.000-08:00

又是一年的尾端了，少不了的就是找个角落来发恼骚，埋怨一下这整个年头里,自己做过堕落的事，骄傲的事，伤心的都给记下来。记忆里最深刻的那事是-那一天，我搭车回学校去，路途中，一边在看着信息，眼泪不受控制的流，还好那坐在隔壁的朋友看不见我这狼狈的样子。新的一年，为了自己该好好的争取机会见识多点，不想如朋友所说的的那么天真

电话弄丢记。

2008-09-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

9月7日，大头虾的我把电话给弄丢了，失去了很多朋友的联络电话，当中有该继续和不该继续联络的人，心里情绪复杂交错。身边很多朋友都说："是时候换电话啦。。"..真的笑不出咯。过后的那几天，让我发现多一样不开心的事，给人欺骗了有半年时间啦，其实在中间时，明明自己是感觉到的，却还真的天真到让那个人三两句就哄妥了。笨咯...!再一次问自己是否自我保护该加强呢?自己承认很多时候遇到人际问题时，很多时候选择不把它复杂化，难道这样不对吗？也许现在看清那人也是好的吧，失去联络也算是对的时候吧？也许这就是天父的旨意..

Get well soon

2008-02-16T00:12:00.000-08:00

im regret of wht i did again, i shouldnt make tht's decision without proper thinking, the consequence is i get hurt. This is a good lesson for me from God, make me know tht the true love not easily to get, not a simple guy come to approach u then he is really suit to u...im get hurt because i easy to falls to him,tot he is the ppl tht i can count on, sharing n also talking. now, im become less confident of myself . Dear God, when do i can cover bck for this bad memory? please give me energy to keep on going...i dun do this again.

A selfish gal

2008-01-01T07:37:00.000-08:00

Im interested to knw im hw much selfish in my frens heart? wht rate do they wil giv me? recently im realise tht i did a selfish thing last time, i did the same mistake but tht time im stil confident to say " im rite". a brand new year..i wish my attitude can change to be patient to face my partner in my life.

Hurt n loneliness

2007-11-21T03:04:00.000-08:00

My hand is so hurt bcoz im falled on the way im bck to room..so hurt. im cried, like a little girl need so someone to appease me.Then,my little roommate came to my side.."wht happen to u? roommate..."haha..im laugh n tell her, im PK lo...
No body know wht is in mind, im felt lonely n realise tht i hv nobody to count on, anywhere just can be here stay stronger n stronger. i hv change a lot from last time til now..im used to be a timid girl, im always wish tht hv someone stay bside me, close with me, let me count on, n with him i wont hv any trouble..i think tht's a sign of lonelinees tht's make me sick..i wil be cured very soon..

the prob tht im ashame to face with

2007-10-31T03:49:00.000-07:00

i cant expect that finally our relationship wil end up like this way, i think he might angry me bcoz i never face to face discuss with him, i never respect his feelings as well. i feel sorry n ashame coz me not dare to face him, from the beginning i never told him my feelings tht i cant put in myself to be with him. Am i cruel ? wht i wish to said is i ady knw where d limitation of our relationship, it force me to leave at tht point if nt it might hurt each of us consequently.

he with me

2007-10-25T03:26:00.000-07:00

finally i hv make a decision, im choose to be alone, i found tht i cant put in myself to be with him,wht happen to me? Act from the beginning im not realize with this prob,as long as until now, this prob make me not feeling nice in my heart, im scare i wil hurt each other in the future,..Anywhere i wish to tell him abt my feeling when all things settle down, while waiting for that day, i will repeat n repeat to think abt this decision. i wil keep on pray to God wish him can guide me always.

很害怕自己又遇上那个。。

2007-08-30T12:18:00.001-07:00

这几天的我，反复想着我和他的感情从开此到现在，建立的是否真确，我的出现是对的时候吗? 想着想着，也许当初的自己出现是错了，为何这次与上次一样，帮了两个他度过了他们分手后的难关，之后的自己却陷了身下去呢? 喜欢的理由是什么? 是因为我的陪伴吗? 就因为我那在身边的陪伴吗? 好害怕遇回以前的同一那人。我不要，我真的不要...我要的只是那简单的感情而已。
31/8/07
3.45am